This is the time of year when expectations are in full force. I know I've talked about expectations before, probably numerous times. But in actuality they really come into play in most if not all aspects of life so mentioning them time and time again is needed. The holidays can bring up all sorts of feelings for us, and its a huge spectrum of people's experiences with it. There are those that can't wait to play holiday music and see family and friends at home, while others are filled with complete dread of the expectation of having to see family and put on a "happy" face when being forced to partake in rituals with people whom they may or may not feel connected to. And then there is the grey area in between those two extreme norms, and that grey area can be filled with excitement, doubt, anger, sadness, and any other range of emotions that can be connected to the human experience around the holidays.

It's important to think about your own experience and how best to take care of yourself during that time. If you are in that grey area, and on any level have anxiety or depression around the holidays, its important to think about what triggers you, and what solutions can you create to feel better whether you are in a situation where you know stresses will be present, or simply trying to partake in an activity that brings you some happiness and joy. But also realizing that while many people do enjoy the holidays, just as many (or more) don't because of the expectations its puts on them to buy presents (which can be hard if on a strict budget), to be excelling at work or in a relationship, or any other pressure or something that they "should" be doing. And, if you have read my previous posts, you know I take issue with the word should. As Karen Horney talks about her tyranny of the should's, when we all create impossible demands of ourselves that are impossible to meet.

In essence, when we think about that we need to "have complete control or focus in life" or "happy all the time"- when we take a step back and think about these things, we need to realize that its these goals or pressures that we have on ourselves are causing us to feel out of sorts with who we are and who we want to be. It's hard to learn to accept ourselves in a world that often convinces us that we need to be doing something else. The best we can do is learn that no matter what we are doing, if we are happy, or (un)happy, that's how we feel; we own it, we live it, we know it isn't permanent and do our best to figure out how to get through and figure out our lives. And that, is a life long process, regardless.