My Perspective

Here's the stigma about stigmas...

As a therapist, I am well aware of the stereotypes and the stigma that surround therapy. Many people think they have a pretty good idea of what therapy is, who its catered for, and why someone may need it. More often than not I've heard from clients who are beginning the process that they feel people who seek therapy are "severely mentally ill", and that they themselves didn't want to ask for help (as they should be able to figure it out on their own, because asking for help can often be seen as a weakness). 

There are many elements of these preconceived notions that are important to examine; First, that therapy is only for those who are "severely mentally ill". If we think about medical doctors and the types of treatment they provide, do they only cater to those who are struggling with life-threatening illnesses or do they also provide services to those who many need a routine check-up or a yearly exam of some sort? Doctors treat those who are dealing with a large range of medical issues, and in terms of treatment, therapy really isn't that different. Have I worked with clients in the past who have struggled with major depressive disorder or had suicidal thoughts? Yes, but I have also worked with clients who were examining their purpose in life, or questioning the choices that they were making within their family or in terms of their career and life aspirations. So, as with doctors, therapists provide the level of treatment that is needed or requested by any given client that makes an appointment. 

Second, and because I hear about it so often from clients and through social media, I think a lot about the concept that anyone seeking help of any kind can be seen as "weak". I almost compare it to when I am working with clients and they may tear up during a session, and about 95% of the time their tears are followed by an apology. Most clients apologize after showing tears, and explain that they either "never cry" or they feel as though they are a "stronger person" than the tears they may show. It's really important to examine our own constructs of how we define "strength" and "weakness". Tears, as with the concept of "asking for help" don't need to be defined as weakness, in my clinical practice I have actually found quite the opposite; With tears, they can be our way of physically expressing the tension we are dealing with internally and associating with certain personal experiences.  With asking for help, or seeking treatment, having the ability to recognize and own that you may not have all the answers (again, questioning why we all expect that we (should) know all the solutions to our problems) is much more a sign of strength for myself and for many in the counseling field. My hope is that the stigmas will continue to be examined and debunked so more people can not only seek the help that they need but learn that expression of emotion isn't weakness, it's what makes us human.   

Everyone has to start somewhere!

My first blog. My feelings about this are: it's super intimidating but also has the potential to be really exciting with many opportunities for great conversation, learning, and growth! Sound familiar? When I talk to potential clients about starting the therapy process, the feelings I just shared about starting a blog (and this website, and my private practice) are very similar to what clients feel when thinking about starting therapy. Beginning the therapy process can be intimidating and there are more often than not a few fears associated with the idea of therapy (or what a person thinks they may know about therapy, the process etc.) For example, what they may see or read in the media and what is shown on TV or in movies (To be clear, many therapists don't have you lay on a couch expressing free association of thoughts and are writing down notes the whole time). In actuality, every therapist you meet will have a different style and differently personality, what is most important is that you don't shy away from starting the process because you may not know what to expect. Call it a challenge by choice, something you are willing to challenge yourself to try, and making the choice to go for it. So for me, having this blog and owning my own practice is my challenge by choice.  Being able to provide individual therapy in my own setting is extremely important for me, not only so that I can focus all my attention and work on the client and their process, but being able to create a comfortable environment for someone to start down their road of self-discovery. If it weren't intimidating, challenging, or hard to begin, it wouldn't be worth it. So while I know in the end this blog, website, and practice will be worthwhile, it's time for you to decide if you are ready to start the therapy process by taking that challenge by choice, and gearing up for the beginning of something that could change your life.